View From a Height
Commentary from the Mile High City
Sunday, June 29, 2003

In other good news, the Greens seem set to stir up trouble again in 2004. The Democrats have been desperately trying to keep the Greens sidelined, and, when they're not blaming the Supreme Court for 2000, they're blaming Ralph Nader. (Sometimes they do blame Gore, but usually for the wrong reasons.) Fortunately, the Greens really want to become a power broker here, and are talking as though they plan to run someone.

Read on. Just as you think it can't get any funnier, the Greens name the Democrats currently running that they like the best, and they're just what you would imagine: Dennis the Menace, Carol Moseley Braun, Howard Dean, and Al Sharpton. Of course, "some of them are compromised."

Now, I can understand their liking the Green Mao-ntain Man Dean, but Al Sharpton? Aren't they worried about the potential smoke and smog from all the riots and fires? And Dennis? Dennis was elected to the City Council the same year that the Cuyahoga river inspired these immortal words from Randy Newman. (He's there, just scroll down past the precious cartoon, and, if you live in Montgomery County, try not to think about how your tax dollars are being spent. For this they don't want a Beltway Bypass?)

The best part, though, comes where the Greens name their favorite candidates, as determined by a scientific poll of both of them. Topping the list, of course, is the known quantity, Ralph "Safe at His Current Speed" Nader. Then comes - get this - for real - Cynthia McKinney! I guess if you're going to make a fool of yourself, do it on Pacifica, so you can capture the Greens. Of course, I don't have any evidence that Ms. McKinney would be a national embarassment, but a complete investigation might prove that to be the case.

Of course, they could always pair her up with their #3 choice - Henry Waxman. What a team! Let's just hope he never has to share a platform with her father.

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